Tuesday, April 26, 2005

My MAN and SHE.

Though the day began on a usual note; project updates, dead lines and all those forwards containing cosmetic words like "love" "friendship" etc;
One mail stood out with a subject line "A fighter called Siddharth".

A quick search on Google and I present to you my “brave man”.
In recent times such a confluence of emotions happened was in a cinema theater; watching "BLACK".

This could be a right time to mention, my inspiration and the first person I pray to when I'm in dire-straits;
My God-Mother Rani aunty.
She was in wheel chair because of some disease I cannot pronounce and I don’t want to; had to undergo physiotherapy. She was provided with this help at “Jyothi” center for the specially-abled children. We were invited for a dance and light show hosted by them, this was in my class 7th; and trust me till date I haven’t forgotten the confidence and fun they had performing for us.
Rani Aunty extended help to the institute and donated a lump sum for their future activities. I could end saying, with puffed chest and bulging eyes "someday I will also so the same, like Rani aunty did"; I Sincerely pray, "God please don't change my mind".

Aunty, you may not be here with us, but your presence is always felt.

Wednesday, April 20, 2005

Reproduction... Only a reason

One evening Mr and Mrs decided to play husband wife and make kids.
Involve in the divine act of reproduction, to have an offspring, strong as Hercules, smart as Einstein, fast as Ben Johnson and witty as Jim Carrey.
He was born to the 'Somiahs" in the green slopes of Koorg; amid fresh smelling coffee beans and morning mist.

A few hours after his birth in the hospital, his grand dad let him taste the divine nectar, the nectar every Koorgy devours till death, the nectar they survive on.
Weak, tiny eyes of the infant opened to the real world and Vinay Somiah was born.




I wish my surname was "Somiah".

(Inspired by a conversation I had with my Koorgy friend, Vinay; obviously in a BAR)
PS: I love Koorgy’s.

Monday, April 18, 2005

Natures bliss a Goat's Leap.

Don’t feel like posting anything, Every joint in my body is aching after the trek to Mekedatu (Goat’s leap).

A real refreshing trip away from the crowd, I guess it got a lil too refreshing. The cancerian in me was lured by the gushign water and greenery. The hard, sharp and slipery rocks underwater reminded me that I was just another city dweling babu, and yes I was left with few cuts and bruises.All that, did not deter my love for the gushing water and clean air. This was at Sangama.

The 3 km treck to mekedatu from Sangama drained me out, but worth it.I am still on glucose boxes and bannans; so will post more latter (with pics).

Monday, April 11, 2005

The week-end that "BLEW"

Saturday came..
Sunday came..
The wind blew so did my nose.
The only one that stayed was my cold.

Ever felt like you could not stop what you were doing? It keeps happening over and over and over, and all you can do is keep doing it. The nostalgia goes through me every Monday. This Monday was no different only that it was worse.
The thought of going to office over flowed my mind, the only other thing overflowing was my handkerchief; thanks to the horrible cold, and news of my cousin getting admitted in the hospital.
My week begins.

All germs in my body must be having a feast. White blood cells are for sure, working over time, I sneezed a record 50 yesterday evening, and my roomies use my face as a catalyst for their bowel movement in the mornings.

Staying away from home and obviously deprived of mothers love and nutrition has taken its toll. My gastric system has been through all different atrocities; from Andhra pickles to street side Muniyandi villas "kothu-parathas", from bisibella-bath to "dog" meat camouflaged beef. All I wish for these days is for one evening when I don’t have to ask myself “where are you eating today?".

“Give me kanya and I’ll give you Food”;
A forum where you get to register for a set of healthy home cooked meal in exchange for invaluable company of Anoop (only unmarried women and those with no boyfriends are allowed) need to be setup. Through this, food deprived men get to devour food touched by the kanya while I get to be a humanitarian who care, worry for the destitute beautiful male-deprived women. A god man whose life will be an inspiration to impart respect and dedication to the feminine clad. An aberration from the typical male.

Help me reach my karma; my fellow sari clad inmates of this companionship deprived earth.
LET ANOOP INHERIT THE EARTH……amen



Achoooooo……

Thursday, April 07, 2005

Corporate thamsha!

The day went fine except for the birthday celebration we had.
I was wondered stuck to see the amount of enthusiasm these software guys have when it comes to impressing their boss.
They don’t mind singing “pehala nasha…” in English…. Or eat a whole cake with pumpkin flavor.
Of course the corporate jokes fly in the air.

“…..Then they ordered a cup of shave and haircut not realizing they were in a Barber shop… ha ha ha ha ha “,
“.. oh Mr manager that was a good one… hahahahahah”.

Can you please move away from the window I’ll like to jump off.
Damn its 7 ..If I stay a little longer then I’ll miss the bus and the next bus is after an hour. So I’ll update latter;
Till then adios.

Wednesday, April 06, 2005

Gastritis, a "Canteen" away......

We work hard, to cater to our basic necessities and FOOD stands tall in the list, for me, and my company takes extra care when it comes to food. After all it is our heath that determine the NYSE quote of the company.

Past few weeks at my new office, tempted me to try the different culinary delights they serve in the office canteen. I’ll try and describe them to you. Though my descriptions won't do justice to the treat my taste buds have been through; I’ll try my best.
(just in case you did not notice the sarcasm)

9:20 AM --Read breakfast menu.
9:25 AM --Realise it’s the same menu, as past 5 days.
9:30 AM --Over heard a guy……. “I am just out of hospital,… no no this time I escaped death ……. Yes it was the biriyani I ate”
9:35 AM --Pray to God and get my idlies.
9:50 AM --I am still alive.

Parathas come with an axe-saw blade just in case you feel like eating them, or you could leave them to soak in the age old curd for 4 days before they become soft.

We have Karnataka specials every day. "chowchow bath", hah… nothing Chinese about this dish.
When the experts called the pan chewing chef to know what his new preparation was.
He said “go go, I am in the bathroom,”
The half deaf expert heard it “chowchow bath”.
(I am loosing my sense of humor so is my common sense, so please excuse the above drivel)

The Juice section in the canteen works 24/7.
They add a pinch of mango/grape/orange essence with the tall glass of water.
"Milk" is a cosmetic, also serevs as a camouflage in milk shakes.

Burp........ Can’t wait for lunch.

12:30 PM --lunch is served.
12:34 PM --I see the menu.
12:34 PM --LUNCH FINISHED.
Thank god the cooler water comes free.

Burp....... can't wait for tea break.

4:30 PM --The menu screams "Today’s Menu".
1) Asserted BONDAS.
Please excuse the mess boys English, that was meant to be assorted. But then, could that be a candid warning, maybe he meant assaulted.
These bondas alias "Killer bondas", come in blood shot red colour and looks obnoxious, like one of those aliens that suck blood from your neck in a cheap space fiction serial.
The day I buy them will be to puncture my boss’s skull.

2) Mangalore BU’n’S.
Some smart chap replaced the 'n' with a 'M' on the menu board.
This is a highly sophisticated dish which is made according to the secret recipe.
They have to go buy the buns, make it sound exotic, serve them. The rest is done by the hungry software engineer.
Plain buns they are, oops...not just any plain bun, soggy depleted "Mangalore Buns"; mind that.

3) Set Dosa.
Same as the breakfast dosas, only that count in the plate is increased.

4) Veg colizoniues
Please don’t ask me what they are or to pronounce this word.
The French client who thought Indian software professionals didn’t know how to kill each other designed it for us. It takes fifteen minutes to prepare, so you have enough time to decide whom to throw at.

5) Veg Pizzas alias flying disks.
Topped with exotic sauces and decayed vegetables, just the smell is enough to keep you in loo for 10 days.

6) Boanda soup:
The super combination of devil and her advocate.
Never tried them. Some day when I feel like I’ve had enough of life, I’ll order one.

4:50 PM—--Return to the cubical.

I survived another day.

Tuesday, March 15, 2005

"chupru"MAN

"Look up in the sky.....
It's a bird,
no it's a plane...
ahagn, its that idiot again."



Morphing isn't my piece of cake, I know.
But I don't care.

Monday, March 14, 2005

Non-sense Vs Some-sense.

Sometimes, you climb out of your bed and tell yourself.. you will do it, "yes I will";
but laugh inside loud; of how many times you have felt the same way.
You walk to the loo, do your thing and look in the mirror while you brush, wondering, why!!!
"Why should I have such horrible hair, such ugly gums, such horrid jaws and yet, that God given smile". Smile, the next door girl waits for, smile your colleague wish for, smile your boss hates.

It's true that every one of us is ugly, in a sense difficult to explain, but yes we are ugly. Even with all this ugliness there is something nice, some thing that could make someone else's day a little better, a little sweeter.

For some reason I find the snort my neighboring cubical guy makes pretty interesting; though it gets the heat out of everybody. They say it's disgusting; "hey have you ever thought about yourself?, he only snorts, and you......!!!"
All this so delightful yet so disappointing.

-Sunita i love your smile,
-Mahesh your hair looks good any day.. may be just 5 strands, but they are great
-Remya talk less sing more,
-and Yash keep snorting.

Saturday, March 12, 2005

"Stay in Touch"...a surprising candour.

Is it necessary to “stay in touch”?
When a friend of yours, move out of your place or shifts his work to another town, is it important that you stay in touch?
I don’t think so. In my list of friends who have left me, there are many who complain through common buddies about my lack of interest to “staying in touch”, and then, there is this other kind, who don’t even care to speak to me. The latter contains a few, to whose bedroom I can walk in at any time of the day, and ask for a lump of money, and not return disappointed. My point is; if he/she is your friend then what is the necessity to “stay in touch”. You don’t have to call, mail or even spend your hard earned money to say hello, to some one who calls himself/herself your friend, so that when he/she comes back to town, they will have a reason not to meet or call you.
The few reasons for you to call your friend, is usually because.......
1) you need help (monetary mostly)
2) invite him/her to your wedding
3) tell him/her that u need a place to stay in his town.
Do you actually have to have a scheduled call or mail for this? I don’t think so.
Yes you could ring up your buddy when u feel corny , for support, to get that itch out of your head, to bitch about your Ex, to know what is hep-n-hap in Detroit.

Oh, and there are a few who behave like they were lovers, WTF!!!! .You could call your girlfriend or boyfriend to feel important once in a while, not your friends.

This is my sack of thoughts, it is not to exonerate why I don’t “stay in touch”, but it sure crossed my mind why my so called “friends” complain. I may have been explicit with an uncomfortable lack of candour about friendship, but what the hell it’s my blog.

You don’t have to call or mail me and you surely can’t walk into my bedroom; but I will be there to help you any time.....hmm any time except times I am sleeping, eating, working, playing, driving, swimming, painting, watching porn...............

Tuesday, March 08, 2005

When the tough gets going.. u burn your face.

When something has to go wrong it does; but bhagvaan karae not like, what happened to sankar; almost blinding him. A caracker burst right in front of his face (they call it the BOMB). He burnt most of his eye lashes and sustained minor injuries to the eye. Thanks to the spectacles, otherwise I would have had to make a "sequel BLACK" inspired by 'blind' sankar. Well all this happened inside a car, his car.

Since the day "GREEN GOBLET" ( Sankar’s car) crossed the Karnataka TamilNadu border, Sankar has been undergoing a spell of sweet revenge. Is it because he drove the car rough on Cochin roads? or is it because he keeps saying “the damn santro sucks".

As far as my memory goes, he drove the goblet on B-lore roads 5 times; once getting rammed by a blind auto guy; another time running down a beggar lady; and yes getting the wind shield cracked latter.
Other two times he drove in B-lore, he came back in a state of shock. Could not speak, neither could he feel his palm; paavam was scared.
I too have been driving the goblet but never had a problem; makes me wonder!! am I the psychopath inside the cars mind; that makes Sankar ... Spiderman......

Today is a holiday for me; maha-shivraathri. All the more reason for me to slug at home alone, albeit a basketball game scheduled for the evening, I am looking forward to. Roopa has promised me the CD s written, can't wait to listen them.