Self-ish

Growing up in a port town (Cochin) in the State of Kerala; surrounded by family. Expectations and aspirations are limited in such an environment. I could have made a living exploiting the usual government jobs offered or stick to the software development job currently having, but prefer to do similar work as a corporate executive. I have one sibling, my sister who is finishing her undergraduate study in a reputed college in Cochin, specializing in ‘Family and Community Science’, my mother is a graduate who never worked and is happy being a house wife; her agenda of family activities is always packed with house hold chores. Most of my family is employed in the government services, which instilled in me at a very young age, the concept of work. The artistic instincts in me grew when I was exposed to the Art field on a professional level, by a guru who was known to my father. My father has always been an inspiration to me. He made it to a government job from a back ward village; all through his hard work and sportsman skills. He got selected to the civil body of Cochin Port Trust and from there he never shifted jobs.
You see, one thing that my father lacked was ambition; as a small town boy, my dad maintained many of the 60’s ideologies of peace, love and understanding. In other words, the establishment, rules, and the conventional way of doing things he avoided adamantly. For some reason, growing up, I grew to resent this. In fact, it angered me so much that after an argument that hit the very nerve of this resentment, I swore to make it on my own.

I joined college in a different town and started to grow away from my family especially my father; my dad and I did not speak to one another for a long time, despite his repeated attempts to contact me.
After all, I was focused. I had my career to take care of. I had my studies, my athletic activities, my money making schemes to pay back the load, my fraternities -- I had my future in front of me. I, indeed, intended to make up for years of ambition that my father squandered. I almost lost the feel and companion of my father.
I am stubborn. I sometimes allow my belief in my own correctness to do more harm than good. Most times, I don’t realize it. In this case, the realization of my stubbornness was like a brick in the face. I had allowed my own goals, objectives and beliefs to come between myself and probably the most important and influential individual my life has seen, and, to this day, I only regret it.