Monday, May 30, 2005

Attack Of The POX

Long long time ago in a galaxy far, far away… somewhere close to Hosur....
A vast sea of green grass serves as the backdrop for the Hero's entry, followed by a rollup, which crawls into infinity stretching away from the main building of Satyam computer services Ltd, into the unknown.

War Vs love. There are heroes on both sides. Evil is everywhere.

ANOOKIN: Oh, POXtheCHICK! Thank goodness, you're back.

POXtheCHICK: BACK!!!??? This is the first time I am even getting close to you.

ANOOKIN: I missed you, POXtheCHICK. I've missed you so. There were whispers . . . they told me that you'd been killed. I've been living with unbearable dread.

POXtheCHICK: I'm back, I'm all right. It feels like we've been apart for a lifetime. And it might have been ... If it was not for that idiot who slept with me for two weeks and then touched you, we would have never been together.

ANOOKIN starts to give POXtheCHICK a kiss. She steps back.

POXtheCHICK: Wait, not here . . .

He grabs her again.

ANOOKIN: Yes, here! I'm tired of all this deception. I don't care if you are ugly, you stink and you are contagious.. Now we are married; at least for two weeks!

POXtheCHICK: ANOOKIN, don't say things like that. You're important to me... to keep me spreading, to keep me alive. I love you more than anything (for now), but I won't let you give up your life as a patient for me . . .

ANOOKIN: I've given my nights and days to other diseases, but I'd only give up my life, for you.

POXtheCHICK: (playfully) I wouldn't like that. I wouldn't like that one bit. Patience, my handsome patient . . . Come to me later.

ANOOKIN embraces her, and then looks at her.

ANOOKIN: NO, I want you, right here right now.

POXtheCHICK: Alright..right 'NOW', it is then....You asked for it.

They get even closer, just their breath keeping them apart...

POXtheCHICK: Are you all right ANOOKIN? You're trembling. What's going on?

ANOOKIN: I'm just excited to see you.

POXtheCHICK: NO, its not that. You have fallen for me and you have fallen hard. Now for the next two weeks you will be mine, you will suffer and stink just like me, you will be contagious and grow even uglier ... just like me... just like POXtheCHICK...... haha ha ha ha

tadaaan.... ATTACK OF THE POX.

[Back to business after a well deserved break at home, ah time to stretch my muscles and my spots]

Tuesday, May 10, 2005

Now I know why middle east is in DEEP SHIT.

It was too good a pic to be not shared.

Difficult to find a soothe news here.

"Turn off TV, turn on a women instead"; WHAT RUBBISH I SAY

Long long ago in the land of naked women and hot prostitutes there lived a young boy who stuck to his celibacy only because he didn’t watch discovery channel or Surya-TV Saturday nites.
His sister stayed dark cos she missed the "fair and lovely add".
His mom could never figure out when and where to cry cos she never saw any soaps.
His dad died thinking Sachin Tendulkar was his famous next door neighbour; who drove TVS victor.

Who to blame, me? you? or them? They create an electronic marvel like TV and then form a faction [turnoff network] to actually turn it off!! or invent a device [TV-b-gone turns off any TV in a range of 20-50 Ft] to deprive humans of their few worldly pleasures! These traitors should be made to sit butt naked in a upturned broken coke bottle till it’s full of blood
[Ahem excuse my sadistic approach; I get very emotional when it comes to my stuff close to my heart]

My friend Vinayak opened my eyes to the atrocities happening in this world, thank you buddy.

Readymade Bribe

The morning glory got in to me and I stayed irritated all day. Traffic on hosur road and Bangalorean's traffic sense added to the pleasure.
After cheating death, twice on the BTM road; just before entering Hosur road I witnessed the amazing act of “SERVING FOR A CAUSE”. We know traffic is controlled by cops, these two serve akin functions; craft trouble.

A car in front of me, obviously a software geek was in all hurry, must have been late for a white ass client meeting; he was driving like one of those Indy car racers only that a few innocent souls were on the road. We were at the signal waiting for the lights, as the counter ticked to 10..9..8.. zoom our racer made his way before the green light, almost running down an unwary cyclist.
A cop sprung to the road from no where (they should be in the army for their camouflage skills) and tried to stop our freak racer. He stood in the path of the accelerating car with his arms open as if that was the moment he was born for, to sacrifice himself FOR A CAUSE, TO SERVE US.

For that tweeni minie miniscule second I felt proud of all those traffic officers who stood in the HOT sun all day, with no safety cream to protect their skin, no cool goggles to shade their eyes and no filters to stop them from breathing the dark smoke; a job FOR A CAUSE, TO SERVE US.

The tweeni minie miniscule second passed and the next thing I know is our driver, while the car is on the move had his hand out of the window and waving to the officer; the brave officer was still standing in the trajectory of the car, but had a glisten in his eyes.

the car kept moving ..
the officer stayed on the road..
every body held their breath...
the car was still on the run...
the driver turned to his left....
the officer was on the drivers side now...
but he stayed where he was.. never to move...all FOR A CAUSE.. TO SERVE US
the car kept moving.....
the officer stayed tranquil....
suddenly their hands met.....
the moment froze in time....
the car kept moving and the glimmer in the cops eye turned to a broad evil smile on his lips.
he was richer by 100 Rs.


Friday, May 06, 2005

Heineken to buy Russian beer firm....

Dutch beer company Heineken has agreed to buy Russian brewer Patra for an undisclosed sum.... some news, esp at the week end !!
yahhooooo.... jingi jakie chaaaaa jingi jakieee cha... jingi ghikidi aha....jhidi ghadi jakieeee.... jha
[doing a dappankuthu... and whistling]

"Let the Farce be with them".

Tuesday, May 03, 2005

God's own heater.

Was in Kollam since Thursday. Got back to Blore today morning; tanned and dehydrated.
Kerala is getting hotter every day. The last time I peed so much was at age 2 in my ammumas lap. She loves me you see, and I do it to every one I love.

"no no Merina, with you it was all that beer.....ahem of course my love too".

Kerala is only a step away from sun-strokes and coolers. Maalu chettans and chechis are growing darker, though not less beautiful.
If it was not for all that tender coconut and maalu kutties, I would have disowned my stature as Mr.Nair.

Spent some time at Varkala "Papanashini", an hour’s drive from my house in Kollam. It came as a reminder; why Kerala is Gods own Sweet spot.
They say, if you want to cleanse your soul take a dip at Varkala; I did. Wonder why it tasted salty??!!
The famous 2000 year old Vishnu temple was prohibited for me because of religious reasons (since there was a death in my family I am devoid of temples for the next 16 days)

The sea side was sprawling with huts and shops exclusive to the white skinned. “Kappa” “meen curry” and many other dishes, adoring my moms table every day, was an exquisite dish in Varkala; they were priced lofty too. The local tea stall had a board painted "cafĂ© espresso" and spelled correctly too; they didn’t zimply say mallus have 100% literacy.

Though TAJ group was minting money by the cliff; the locals were having their share of cake too, a big one. Mr.Krishnakumar was running a "Exchange de currency here" from his 4X4 mtr thatched hut and mariamma had her "International hotel for Kerala spices" busy; talk about globalisation.
Marriamma getting all that spice with her loose blouse and low tied mundu is understandable, but Krishnakumar all that currency!!!...I wonder from where??