Tuesday, July 27, 2004

Mind games...juzzt you enjoyeee in a mad-house.

First of the waves you touch will be the last you feel, now was that the last or the first wave?
Evry single grain under my feet, stimulates me into a cacoethes.
Should I bend down to itch, hah yes itch till every layer under your feet find their way into the salty depths,
and you stand there; still, quiet, feeling the wind through your osseous tissues.Slowly, very slowly till you..you.... don't exist.
The waves touch your feet again,
Is it the first or the last one!!!!

creepy eh, this is what i saw in my sleep yesterday.
amaaaaa I want you here now.
I remember the one time i got my bones chilled, in my sleep when I dreamt a snake chasing me all around the place.
Slept in amma and achan's room that nite (hey.....i was in 6th grade then ok and i don't like 'MY' bed, wet).With the revelation of the dream, I had to do a marathon vist to 3 temples (with snake deities) that week.
If i tell amma about this, where am i going to end up??!!!!!!!

Monday, July 26, 2004

want Nirvana, the ISKCON ishtyle? eat PIZZA!!!

Week end was just fine.

Was down with "empty your bowel while you sneeze" disease on Sunday. Damn, it's no fun to be in the loo when your buddies are having fun, just a door away.I also missed Sunday treat for myself at a Pub or Restaurant.
The bettter part of my week end, Went to ISKCON (International society for Krishna Consciousness) here in Bangalore, on Saturday.
Got myself a "sandalwood mala" (oh, how I LOVE beads).
I used to don two beautiful mala's during my college, one was tulsi beads and the other, red sandalwood (a cheaper version, and has no smell).
Still have the red-sandalwood one , the other is with HER.GOD let a day past by, with me not thinking of HER,pleaaase....
Well abt ISKCON, they serve PIZZAS for prasad!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

krishnaaaeeeee..... the elysian, bless us. Pssst.... this time with chatpatti paneer-extra cheese-stuffed crust, please.

When Pankaj told me this, before I left for the place, I thought it was another one of his "CRAP".
Blimey, they actually had doughnuts and pizzas with sign-posts saying,"Lord Krishnas Prasad, Donate Rs 30/-".
Alrght Commercialized GOD freaks,I preffer "Thripunithura Kshetram" back home.When you want to feel divinity, the smell of Pizza or samosas is not required.

On a postivistic note, super architeture, lovely landscaping, idols were amazingly comely and aesthetic.

PS: I'll love to go there again (even when I am warned of their organ-trading reputation).

Armstrong on the moon...

"He's an accomplished champion but he's not invincible", a cliche.(comment by Race director Jean-Marie Leblanc)

Hats and my "chaddi" off to this man.
To win six times in a row one of the most difficult races, is something my grandpa would make me proud of.


Thursday, July 22, 2004

"DISCOVERY"start early....very early.

It is very difficult for me to understand why we have segregation between "Discovey channel" and "F-tv".
The other day I got to know

1)new positions in love making.
2)how to arouse your partner, even during a cardiac arrest.
3)how to rub your "person" for maximum pleasure.
4)......where and when to do, all the above mentioned....... next episode.

All this from the very own "Discovery" channel.Through out the program I had a hard-on, (which was put to good use, latter on.... HOW?? ....ya like you don't know).The point is what about the KISS....chaeeei......K.I.D.S????

Superlatives like "exploring", "learning","discovering" do a good beguilers job for these channels.Boy it wont be far when your 3 year old comes to you running " dad do u have a rubber on you, its an emergency, Sarala is waiting"......
Oops son.You know, me and mom have been work late these days, so its been ages...hmmm."

I'm no vis-a-vis to comment on how to handle Kids.But when u hear (at 11 in the nite) from your 1st standard cousin ..."chetta flick to channel 69 National geographic, they show naked ladies dancing now"......a thought sure goes through your vitiated mind, "boy when did i see a naked lady FIRST !!!!.." lucky basrads, kids these days....

and so the conversation continues:
chettan: monae ....what else do they show at this hour?
cousin:shift to Zee MGM after 1 hour and u'll see "guy kissing semi nude girl movie"....No..... thats on monday, today is friday.Stick to National geographic for now, at 12 shift to "SURYA" and you can see soft porn,today they show "Shakeela"......
chettan:What, you know who 'Shaak" is???
cousin:I have pics of hers, even you haven't seen!
chettan:show it to me latter ok.You never got caught?
cousin:why do u think i have a 14inch in my room!..privacy u seee.....
(and you thought they were watching TOM chase JERRY..true, only that TOM is a 12inch "pianist" and JERRY has two 36inc "moulds" fixed to her rib cage.)
chettan: monae....i think you should get some rest before your sports day tomorrow.why don't you go and sleep now.It's 12 already you see....
cousin:it's ok chetta, you enjoy "SURYA" here and ill enjoy inside .....good nite.

Soon you'll have the book "sexual pleassures, the SMALL way' author Kannan(my 7 year old cousin)....
He winning the Pulitzer for ceative writing; becomes "KOsho" the GURU and unbrace in a Rolls with beguiling women wrapped around him..........

.................I die virgin.

Tuesday, July 20, 2004

day after tommorow...with "kallu"

meow... said the cat and i ran him over with my "Enzo", the 6 lt 660bhp, 0-100 mph in 6sec-below, gull wings, what an aphrodisiac, made it to the verge of a "explosion", in my pants ....Bow... said tikku and i was rolling on the floor in his piss, how on earth did I get in the Kennel. Oh the after effects of "kallu" .

Monday, July 19, 2004

Bart a rave! (wish it was ME).

Why i'll die to be BART......the 10 year old, for 11 years.
MY  blakboard
I will only do this once a year
I will not try to burn down the school
I will not aim for the head
I saw nothing unusual in the teacher's lounge
I will not draw naked ladies in class
I will not conduct my own fire drills 
Wedgies are unhealthy for children and other living things
I will not Xerox my butt
A burp is not an answer 
I do not have diplomatic immunity
I will not get very far with this attitude
Goldfish don't bounce
I will not belch the National Anthem
Underwear should be worn on the inside
The boys room is not a water park
I will not waste chalkI will not encourage others to fly
I will not do that thing with my tongue
I will not drive the principal's carFunny noises are not funny'
This punishment is not boring and pointless
I will not bury the new kid
I will not bring sheep to class
The principal's toupee is not a frisbee
My homework was not stolen by a one-armed man
Organ transplants are best left to the professionals
I will not celebrate meaningless milestones
Beans are neither fruit nor musical
I will not send lard through the mail
I will not hang donuts on my person
The first amendment does not cover burping
I will stop talking about the twelve inch pianist
I will not instigate revolution
All work and no play makes Bart a dull boy.
My BUTT does not deserve a web-site
I am not the new DALAI LAMA
I will not call my teacher ``Hot Cakes''
Nerve gas is not a toy
I will not conduct my own fire drills
My name is not ``Dr. Death''
I will not sell miracle cures
The pledge of allegiance does not end with hail Satan 
I am not a dentist 
Teacher is not a leper
next incarnation I will be "Bart" , please god please I'll be nice from today, I promise.

"Naadan Kallu"..... tipsy Bday.

Late post to commemorate another "day" , reminds me that I'm running out if time. My birthday is done with for the 23rd time.
was home when the day started, ended up in a "kallu shaap" (local toddy shop) by the evening.
I was decieved into the place by my mentors back in cochin, Vasanth and Girish chettan.
when vasanth asked me to come home fast ,I thougth there s a surprise  party waiting for me (even told vidya, I'm goin to be surprised with a party,yes she called)poooh...ya rgth surprise and a party too, but never thougth it's going to be like this in my wildest dreams.
The "kallu shaap" was located by the river XYZ, and it looked beautiful with the moon light bouncing of the ripples made by the "vallam"(man powered boats), cruising through.
"kallu",  suppposed to be one of the purest form of liquor, tasted like Vanilla-shake with vinegar in it, but tasted divine, kinda baffling.
To top it we had sumptious servings of "karimmen porichathu", "meen pollichathu", prawns fry, "vedi-irrachi"(crane meet), i too felt a lil disgust ,thats before I tasted it.
The owner of the place,"BABU" was "Girish-Chettans" buddy, he too was on our table, after getting a lil tipsy
he started off with the golden, evergreen songs in Malayalam, Boy it sure feels good to hear it from some one who knows what he's singing.
trrrrrrrrrriiiiing    achan calling ,panic ,cut the song (whoes bothered).....  "anthi kadapurathu oru oola kudayeduthu, naalum kooti murukinajunathu aranu....."  blasting in the background, I pick up the call.Told him ill be late and that I have the keys.Told him not to let "tikku" out of the kennel till I come ...ya the last thing you want is to get ravished by your own dog ,cos you dont smell like "Anoop" instead stink of "kallu".
Got home by 1am and amma was still waiting for me, she knew what her 23 year old son was upto and asked me to take a shower and go to sleep.Next day morning I told her every thing, things were cool. Achan also got a brief description of the evening, though i spoke to him only about my clinary satisfactions, I m sure he knows his SON better.
And i went to TWO temples the next day .................................see how pious I am ,just not a souse.
Back to work now .
Happy Bday to you .. happy Bday to you ..
happy Bday to chupru.....

YOGA...Secret to “Bliss” or “Indian-spidiee”?

I always thought "Yoga™" was another of those martial arts-gimmicks. Left leg up, right hand on you nose, twist your head, bend down to touch the knees, aha....got you, now try and get out of the "twistero-aasana". But then my cogitation changed when I experienced it myself, I became Yogic-Spidiee.
My first experience with "Yoga™" was dire.
A friend of mine-"Quarter Kumar" told me that his granddad was giving Yoga classes "FOR FREE", and like the usual "Fall for FREE" dud, I took the bait.
Hey and did I tell you readers, I was 3 times champ in "Who can spit highest on the wall"(was suspended in class 4 for the same), ultimate in "hanging upside down till you faint and the macho who could stand on one hand, and still not fall down for a record 2 seconds.
Any way, next day morning at 4, I got up, took a shower and go all the way to Quarter Kumar's house on my cycle.
There I was on the first floor of the house wearing a loose shorts and T shirt, eyes half closed, saliva driveling from the mouth, not even able to make out if the slender figure in front of me was Quarter Kumar's Grand-dad or a half peeled banana, I wanted to scoot and crash on my cozy bed as soon as possible.
According to my mom, Yoga would help me, tone-up my body and senses, refresh me spiritually, and awaken my inner "gyaan",.......TWAAAANG.... inner what??!!
Mom.... you are talking to the 3 times champ in "Who can spit highest on the wall", ultimate in "hanging upside down till you faint" and the macho who could stand on one hand and still not fall down for a record 2 seconds. He needs no refreshing the atma or toning the body.... He's " FIT', just like 'Thambi', the drunkard neighbor of ours.
But then, to keep the school-bully your best pal, I had to go to Quarter Kumar's place.
Quarter Kumar's granddad was a, short, thin, man in his late 60s(that was 7 years ago). According to Quarter Kumar, his granddad was supposed to posses the divine skills of Yoga, which helped him not have a single white hair even at that age. Well I can do that too, after all what is "Rose-Brand kaali mehandi" for.
Intellectually, he was at the penacle. Vedas, mantras he had authored a few books also.
Quarter Kumar was all enthu about the Yoga session.
Grandpa started off reading a mantra for us and we had to repeat with him, then he asked us to sit up with straight backs and take deep breaths. Straight backs hah .......¦deep breaths haahahhahha, old man you are talking to the 3 times champ in "Who can spit highest on the wall', ultimate in "œhanging upside down till you faint" and the macho who could stand on one hand and still not fall down for a record 2 seconds.
Please please, give me the big one and save all these for the sissy.
Still the old man did not heed. He went on to explain how to go about doing "Surya-namaskaram", "Surya-namaskaram" and Me pooh "¦the 3 times champ in "Who can spit highest on the wall", ultimate in "hanging upside down till you faint" and the macho who could stand on one hand and still not fall down for a record 2 seconds, was being asked to do one of the easiest Aasana"  â"Surya namaskaram". All right, all right I'll do it.
Stood straight, knees straight, hands above my head, bend down........
............................. I blacked out................................................................................
When I got up, I was SPIDERMAN, the friendly neighborhood SPIDERMAN.
Note:   Dear reader. Anoop lost his humane instincts after that accident and since, has   
             been in a mazed state. Please excuse his insane-mumblings.
       . Sign: Grandpa. Still having black hair.