YOGA...Secret to “Bliss” or “Indian-spidiee”?

  
 
I always thought "Yoga™" was another of those martial arts-gimmicks. Left leg up, right hand on you nose, twist your head, bend down to touch the knees, aha....got you, now try and get out of the "twistero-aasana". But then my cogitation changed when I experienced it myself, I became Yogic-Spidiee.
 
My first experience with "Yoga™" was dire.
 
A friend of mine-"Quarter Kumar" told me that his granddad was giving Yoga classes "FOR FREE", and like the usual "Fall for FREE" dud, I took the bait.
Hey and did I tell you readers, I was 3 times champ in "Who can spit highest on the wall"(was suspended in class 4 for the same), ultimate in "hanging upside down till you faint and the macho who could stand on one hand, and still not fall down for a record 2 seconds.
Any way, next day morning at 4, I got up, took a shower and go all the way to Quarter Kumar's house on my cycle.
 
There I was on the first floor of the house wearing a loose shorts and T shirt, eyes half closed, saliva driveling from the mouth, not even able to make out if the slender figure in front of me was Quarter Kumar's Grand-dad or a half peeled banana, I wanted to scoot and crash on my cozy bed as soon as possible.
According to my mom, Yoga would help me, tone-up my body and senses, refresh me spiritually, and awaken my inner "gyaan",.......TWAAAANG.... inner what??!!
Mom.... you are talking to the 3 times champ in "Who can spit highest on the wall", ultimate in "hanging upside down till you faint" and the macho who could stand on one hand and still not fall down for a record 2 seconds. He needs no refreshing the atma or toning the body.... He's " FIT', just like 'Thambi', the drunkard neighbor of ours.
 
But then, to keep the school-bully your best pal, I had to go to Quarter Kumar's place.
 
Quarter Kumar's granddad was a, short, thin, man in his late 60s(that was 7 years ago). According to Quarter Kumar, his granddad was supposed to posses the divine skills of Yoga, which helped him not have a single white hair even at that age. Well I can do that too, after all what is "Rose-Brand kaali mehandi" for.
Intellectually, he was at the penacle. Vedas, mantras he had authored a few books also.
 
Quarter Kumar was all enthu about the Yoga session.
Grandpa started off reading a mantra for us and we had to repeat with him, then he asked us to sit up with straight backs and take deep breaths. Straight backs hah .......¦deep breaths haahahhahha, old man you are talking to the 3 times champ in "Who can spit highest on the wall', ultimate in "œhanging upside down till you faint" and the macho who could stand on one hand and still not fall down for a record 2 seconds.
Please please, give me the big one and save all these for the sissy.
Still the old man did not heed. He went on to explain how to go about doing "Surya-namaskaram", "Surya-namaskaram" and Me pooh "¦the 3 times champ in "Who can spit highest on the wall", ultimate in "hanging upside down till you faint" and the macho who could stand on one hand and still not fall down for a record 2 seconds, was being asked to do one of the easiest Aasana"  â"Surya namaskaram". All right, all right I'll do it.
Stood straight, knees straight, hands above my head, bend down........
 
............................. I blacked out................................................................................
 
 
When I got up, I was SPIDERMAN, the friendly neighborhood SPIDERMAN.
 
 
Note:   Dear reader. Anoop lost his humane instincts after that accident and since, has   
             been in a mazed state. Please excuse his insane-mumblings.
      
       . Sign: Grandpa. Still having black hair.