Pickle Tickle….ummmm

Mentioning a few roses and bricks of my experience with the "PICKLE".
Please do not expect any expert, adept recipe or assistive thoughts here to make your culinary experience more gracious.

Read on the drivels of a food faddist.
I recall, those huge satchels I had too carry to hostel after a house visit.
Mummy's special, Granny's love, aunt's compultion, neighbors’ threat.... and many more in the menu.
All of them, collage of exotic spices, chili, oil, vinegar ummm and.. and ..can’t remember, my short term memory always betrays me damn.
Eat them in groups hiding from the seniors or threaten the freshies and grab em,
any day any time any where is "PICKLE" time.

I had the pleasure of, staying in all the four south Indian states and taste the different “PICKLES”.
Let me put the whole story in an ordered way.
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1.PLACE: ”Ochira” (Maternal house)
ACTOR: "Vaasanthi"(my umma umma granny)
PS: “umma” is kisses in mallu, though one reference is enough, I am a little extravagant in Granny’s case.
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Rewind 9 years, eveninig, the huge sack of miniscule mangoes collected during the week is at last ready to be sorted and readied for their last divine trip, in to those HUGE pickle barrels. That evening it is a regale for all the kids, I ve lost count of how many, I used to hate sharing with mallu, shallu, kannan, nandu, ammu, marrarikullam madhavan nair (yes that is a name, and of my 3 year old cousin) in the house.
With the constant squalling from the elders we manage enough of the ripe ones to be relished with salt and chili powder.
Don't know how it is done but then after 3 days of "Operation Pickling", they are sealed tight (not tight enough for us) and stacked into the dark and dismaying storerooms.
We get to taste them "officially" only latter ..long after, till then the reserve Barrels from the past years fill our “PICKLE” needs.

Red in color they can tingle your tungee for 2 litters of water (when I was 13). Vaasanthi used to love seeing us kids run around in search of water bodies with the tongues hanging out loathly, now I can settle for a glass, to Vaasanthi's dismay.
My personal fav is the ones doused in vinegar and salt, even I can make it.

Apart from the foretell, after every incident I will give away my well-kept and exotic recipes to the readers one by one.
These were passed down to me from my forefathers and contain the secret to success of many chefs and hotels.
Please don’t pass it around and spoil its divinity.

Presenting to you "Recipe de exotique pickle au Anoop".
YOU NEED:
1) Tiniest mangoes (nos-your need).
2) Vinegar (till u get drunk... kiddding. Just a little bit).
3) Container.
4) Cloth (to tie the mouth of the container).
HOW TO MAKE IT:
Clean the mangoes thoroughly, don’t cut them.
Drop them one by one into the container with lot of salt and vinegar, SLOWLY.
Count them for amusement.
Tie the mouth with the cloth, very very tight; even Vaasanthi should not be able to open it.
Wait for ages and let your great-grand children eat them and get drunk.

Look amma your boy can cook
PS: Author is not responsible for any medical complications or death.
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2.PLACE: SRM Engineering College, Hostel MESS-2.
ACTOR: Anoop MohanKumar.
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College days are to be remembered, coincidence this incident feature our HERO "Pickle" but in a completely different advert
"OORUGAI".....(had to ask that to a Tamil friend of mine, even now).
So, fresher in the canteen, my turn to collect the paapad and help myself with sumptuous Pickle (last time reference), but alas the bucket was missing, which prompted me to ask a simpletons question "Anna pickle engai"(where is the pickle).
The inevitable happened, a sudden hush fell over, a bees buzz would have enounced thunder, all the mess boys and the "Master-Mathiazhagan" (Head chef) turned to me and stared, not knowing what was wrong, this dolt repeats the question "Anna pickle engai"....
Note: The referral "mess-BOYS" don’t do any justice to the physique of those guys. I still get nightmares, and am daunted by those stares.

One of the "BOYS" came close to me, smell of sweat, raw cut vegetables,
the tanned skin from the furnace,
it was just him and me,
the silence was killing, with a tooth-pic squelched in his mouth,
the deep and shivery voice ask me "ne ENNA solai...?"(What did say).

Before the shots were fired.
from the back of the queue, the savior came "give him the ' OORUGAI '...."
and from nowhere the bucket of pickle remerged, pooh what a relief.
Till date I’m proud to have withstood that onslaught by the pickles oops " OORUGAI ".

Presenting "Recipe de merde Mathiazhagan"(don’t bother look for English of "merde", not worth it)

HOW TO MAKE IT: You don’t want to know.
YOU NEED: Mangoes (supposedly), and lot of other things only Mathiazhagan knows and you’ll never want to.
Those days “medre athiazhagan pickle” used to be our best pick in the menu , and thank you HEAD CHEF.

PS: No harmful side effects. Turns you into a capable soul to survive any cuisine anywhere, even the Satyam canteens.
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3.PLACE: Varun Reddy's Residence.
ACTOR: Aiyo Anoop Again.
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After a hard days work (you do that when u join first in a company, latter on u learn the tricks), I am looking forward to meeting Varun and pamper myself on the exuberant dinner he has promised me.
Ocassion-Vijayadeshami.I could smell food from the doorstep, my tummy avid. Starving since morning was paying off.
All that was to change.
Thanks to my short-term memoirs, I will refer to the dishes except our hero, as X, Y, Z, a, b, c.
We started the meal with a serving of X, which was great, then jump on to Y oooohh,
and then came a large serving of Z again ummma,
a, b and c came after that ....wha kya meal tha
I went home a contented man with a temporary paunch.... and lived happily ever after.
NOOOO that was not to happen, did I forget to mention X, Y, Z, a, b, c every thing even the water came along with our hero "THE PICKLE".

What is with these Golties (no malice indented here), please refer to the meaning of Pickle in the dictionary it says
" (a sauce made from) vegetables or fruit which have been preserved in a vinegar sauce or salty water:".
It’s vinegar..baba ….vinegar ..Not 15 KGs of red-hot chili.

I remember the next day, I spend in the toilet. Dreadful days are not worth remembrance, so no more details on that.
But I realized that, with all the pain and trauma I went through I still like the “PACHADI”
A pickle with a tickle...............
That was the best pickle I ever had and there is no vis-à-vis for it, and never will be.
Hats off.
"Een jesnaaru saru .. oka manchi pachadi cheyi" for the ordinary Human.(excuse my telugu)

Presenting "Reciep de chaud au Valsala aunty"

HOW TO MAKE: Please call 09886464668.
YOU NEED: Please call 09886464668.

WARNING: Do you want me to explain more of my days in the loo.....common
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4.PLACE: Some where in Bangalore.
ACTOR: Anoop and the unknown crusader (just for the effect)
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New in Bangalore, look out for the life sustaining, pleasing, most wanted, something every verile, anthropoid dude wants..
no no .. not the babes, we are talking about food here.. food.
I see a restaurant at the corner of the street. Looks decent enough, pretty crowded
(Now the babes come into picture). I decide to entertain my taste buds there.
Still remember the restaurant name "some saagar”, kudos’ to my short-term memory.

Ordered lunch (mini meals) south Indian. Every thing is fine, even the price tag. The food is good, it is tasty and served clean enough
But then something is missing (5 Rs for guessing what)..Our Hero "Upinna Kai".
On request the waiter got me a small bowl of "Upinna Kai", the look of it reminded me of my fish tank with the "gold fishes “swimming around.
The bowl substituted the tank and the "Gold fish" raw pieces of mango; the water was the same only for the color, RED.
Bangaloruuuu give me the best "Upinna Kai", that’s a dare (Especially, girls who are single, have no parents at home, preferably settled in Bangalore)


My encounters with our hero will continue in different forms and names, and hopefully I will get to drivel about them more some time latter.
If there is one person reading this and has not tasted "PICKLE" please get a cup of water and drown yourself, for if there is a GOD, then his/her second name is
" P. I. C. K. L. E ".

Bone apetite and happy pickling.
Anoop