Monday, August 16, 2004

Still growing "The GUM"

Welcome back for another nail biting, hair raising, move that fat-ass please, episode of "FArtman-........will he or will he not...." was the question.
The last time we left Fartiee was with the Bubble gum, now that you have figured out the cause for Fartiees super powers, my precious time will not be wated in explaining that anymore.
Instead lets go to the town-hall in clappana were mayor-- knaan "mayir" is ready to disclose this years "annual budget".
This budget will decide everything.. everything, world-security, oil prices, weather, breast-size, everything.... (don't give me that look, that is how it is..everything is decided by the budget.There are times when you must never let logic get too much in the way. Like the villains in all the James Bond movies. Whenever Bond breaks into the complex: 'Ah, Mr. Bond, welcome, come in. Let me show you my entire evil plan and then put you in a death machine that doesn't work'.)

Suddenly a mysterious YELLOW light from the horizon, a light so bright it could blind even the blind (anoop ...get a grip) ok how about this, a light so bright your eyes will twinkle for the rest of your lives(alright that’s it, Anoop you are fired).
Get the new guy in (nono wait not the advertisement guy noooo... wait ....)

tadaaaaaaa

Hey are you bored..???
want a change....???
want to be the best...???
then all you need is a ........ "Fartimeter".

Presenting to you "The Fartimeter",


Designed and developed by our in-house team "The Fartimeter".
State of the art, six sigma qualified, thoroughly tested "The Fartimeter".
Measure how much you fart, how fast you fart, how hard you fart, all this and more only on "The Fartimeter".
Try it yourself or call in the neighbours, have a competition on just do it yourself and relax "The Fartimeter" .
State of the art, technologically advanced, award winning machine, now only a call away.
Dont just sit and fart, call +9 9886464668, NOw... NOW... NOW.


Statutory warning:
Don't situate an unprotected face within five centimeters of an unsheathed flatulent anus.

As a piece of offering:
We are willing to conduct extended investigation, should we find a willing corporate sponsor. We propose a series of tests involving farting onto agar plates from varying distances (5mm to 1KM) after the ingestion of specific foods and beverages. In addition to this, we hope to utilize a peak flow meter to test the power of the fart, and how this corresponds to culture results.

As A SPECIAL OFFER, FIRST 2 BUYERS GET:



If you still wondering what that mysterious YELLOW light from the horizon was, Well I ate too much yesterday...frrrt excuse me ... frrrrrrrrt

All right enough for today. With more commercials and thrilling episodes, FArtman will be back.
Take care and like they say
"WE ARE COVERED BY A PROTECTIVE GASEOUS LAYER...."So Fart on people, save the world.


Wednesday, August 11, 2004

The BUBBLE GUM starts to blow!

Keeping my promise, with the previous blog-write, here I present to you "FART MAN".

This part of the script, Sponsored by....

customer satisfaction is our "SPECIALITY", slurp..uhmmmm.

Some day you have to light the wick to the dandy's thoughts.Here in your honourable presence, I DO....
****************************************************************************************
The auspicious day when he was born, July 17th.
It was celebrations in Clappana, firecrackers, sweets, and a "BUBBLE GUM".
Every body Relished the Sweets and sumptious meal, blessed the baby, and went home.

Did they forget the "THE GUM" intentionally???????
Was it hidden for purpose...????????
Where did it come from???????
Why was it there???????.

Read on, for a nail bitting, thumb chewing, pankaj you owe me money, next chapter,

"Why... did... it... GUMmmmm to clappana"????

They named the little cute, sweet boy "Chupru", after his not-so-famous super-hero uncle, who was a cycle repairman, undercover "SUPERMAN".
One fine day, Chupru was playing with his nine inch long snake (pet that is, you corrupted mind), he noticed "The GUM" safely stacked away in the corner of the shelf.
chupru came close to the glass-case covering The GUM.
Curiosity and zeal got over the infant, he raised his hands to touch the case.With a twinkle in his eyes, he edged closer to the case containing that delicious, fluffy, red chunk of mass ,all wet and wild dripping with desire, desire only he could satisfy......his lips caressing hers, his fingers juggling between her legs ,they moved closer to each other and......oops sorry got carried away.Sooooooo kids,

Will he take "The GUM"????
is it meant for him ????
will he eat it?????
will he like the taste of it ??????.

Read on... for a spine chilling, beer like bubbly, Pankaj I’m not GAY.. ok, next chapter…..

"Will....he.... GUMsume it????"

the drivel continues.......what will happen next ????? taaaang taaaang taaaang ......
wait for the next update ...

WILL HE or WILL HE NOT .........


Tuesday, August 10, 2004

The lost week..that was

Never wanted to scribble down my personal stuff here (contradicting statement though), always wanted to pen down things of no importance or of absolute nimble value what inspired few of my drivels.But now, if I have to keep my blog updated I'll have to jot down few things that happen every day in this dandy's life.

Last 2 weeks, full of bollywood-style, masala added stunts and emotions, not to forget
"the forgotten friends and their re-union"(mithun came down to Bangalore),
"apathy of a mother in the hospital"(every day I pray for my friend KK to get well),
"elope into the wilderness with the CHICKS( road trip to the great Bunyan with Ashok, sankar, dwipin,tahir(DUDE CONGRATS ON THE JOB),shabin,ya ya "CHICKS" was just an adjcetive).
There is soo much to write and like I said, don't want to encourage personal stuff here.

hey watch out for the "The bubble gum story" ..comming soon!(here at chupru.blogspot)
(boy now wht the hell will I want to write about a bubble gum??!!, yes I'll write abt the one I swallowed without chewing at the age of 2, and that got stuck in my A*#@ hole, induced super-hero powers in me and I became "FArt man").

Monday, August 02, 2004

Tarzan is handsome... and Tarzan is strong..ting ting ting taaaang taaang..so is anoop

End of the day and a geeky thing to make yourself feel better.
Don't ask me why i'm putting it here, well maybe cos the indite is all praise for ME...
My kind of movie turns out to be ...

"TARZAN!!!!!" (ladies ladies..... you reading this?????)

CWINDOWSDesktoptarzan.jpg

well go on make yourself feel good( pst... every result is goody goody abt you)
which movie, you belong to????

guys.. you don't havta keep EVERYTHING in your pants

What is it with these Americans!!!
Anyway, thanks to this news, now i know what methamphetamine is.


just thinking......what if, it was Bush... hmmm



Naughty Naughty Anoop..





Tuesday, July 27, 2004

Mind games...juzzt you enjoyeee in a mad-house.

First of the waves you touch will be the last you feel, now was that the last or the first wave?
Evry single grain under my feet, stimulates me into a cacoethes.
Should I bend down to itch, hah yes itch till every layer under your feet find their way into the salty depths,
and you stand there; still, quiet, feeling the wind through your osseous tissues.Slowly, very slowly till you..you.... don't exist.
The waves touch your feet again,
Is it the first or the last one!!!!

creepy eh, this is what i saw in my sleep yesterday.
amaaaaa I want you here now.
I remember the one time i got my bones chilled, in my sleep when I dreamt a snake chasing me all around the place.
Slept in amma and achan's room that nite (hey.....i was in 6th grade then ok and i don't like 'MY' bed, wet).With the revelation of the dream, I had to do a marathon vist to 3 temples (with snake deities) that week.
If i tell amma about this, where am i going to end up??!!!!!!!
.
..
...
....
.....
......
.......
.........



Monday, July 26, 2004

want Nirvana, the ISKCON ishtyle? eat PIZZA!!!

Week end was just fine.

Was down with "empty your bowel while you sneeze" disease on Sunday. Damn, it's no fun to be in the loo when your buddies are having fun, just a door away.I also missed Sunday treat for myself at a Pub or Restaurant.
The bettter part of my week end, Went to ISKCON (International society for Krishna Consciousness) here in Bangalore, on Saturday.
Got myself a "sandalwood mala" (oh, how I LOVE beads).
I used to don two beautiful mala's during my college, one was tulsi beads and the other, red sandalwood (a cheaper version, and has no smell).
Still have the red-sandalwood one , the other is with HER.GOD let a day past by, with me not thinking of HER,pleaaase....
Well abt ISKCON, they serve PIZZAS for prasad!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

krishnaaaeeeee..... the elysian, bless us. Pssst.... this time with chatpatti paneer-extra cheese-stuffed crust, please.

When Pankaj told me this, before I left for the place, I thought it was another one of his "CRAP".
Blimey, they actually had doughnuts and pizzas with sign-posts saying,"Lord Krishnas Prasad, Donate Rs 30/-".
Alrght Commercialized GOD freaks,I preffer "Thripunithura Kshetram" back home.When you want to feel divinity, the smell of Pizza or samosas is not required.

On a postivistic note, super architeture, lovely landscaping, idols were amazingly comely and aesthetic.

PS: I'll love to go there again (even when I am warned of their organ-trading reputation).

Armstrong on the moon...

"He's an accomplished champion but he's not invincible", a cliche.(comment by Race director Jean-Marie Leblanc)


Hats and my "chaddi" off to this man.
To win six times in a row one of the most difficult races, is something my grandpa would make me proud of.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/other_sports/cycling/3924971.stm

 
 

Thursday, July 22, 2004

"DISCOVERY"start early....very early.

It is very difficult for me to understand why we have segregation between "Discovey channel" and "F-tv".
The other day I got to know

1)new positions in love making.
2)how to arouse your partner, even during a cardiac arrest.
3)how to rub your "person" for maximum pleasure.
4)......where and when to do, all the above mentioned....... next episode.

All this from the very own "Discovery" channel.Through out the program I had a hard-on, (which was put to good use, latter on.... HOW?? ....ya like you don't know).The point is what about the KISS....chaeeei......K.I.D.S????

Superlatives like "exploring", "learning","discovering" do a good beguilers job for these channels.Boy it wont be far when your 3 year old comes to you running " dad do u have a rubber on you, its an emergency, Sarala is waiting"......
Oops son.You know, me and mom have been work late these days, so its been ages...hmmm."

I'm no vis-a-vis to comment on how to handle Kids.But when u hear (at 11 in the nite) from your 1st standard cousin ..."chetta flick to channel 69 National geographic, they show naked ladies dancing now"......a thought sure goes through your vitiated mind, "boy when did i see a naked lady FIRST !!!!.." lucky basrads, kids these days....

and so the conversation continues:
chettan: monae ....what else do they show at this hour?
cousin:shift to Zee MGM after 1 hour and u'll see "guy kissing semi nude girl movie"....No..... thats on monday, today is friday.Stick to National geographic for now, at 12 shift to "SURYA" and you can see soft porn,today they show "Shakeela"......
chettan:What, you know who 'Shaak" is???
cousin:I have pics of hers, even you haven't seen!
chettan:show it to me latter ok.You never got caught?
cousin:why do u think i have a 14inch in my room!..privacy u seee.....
(and you thought they were watching TOM chase JERRY..true, only that TOM is a 12inch "pianist" and JERRY has two 36inc "moulds" fixed to her rib cage.)
chettan: monae....i think you should get some rest before your sports day tomorrow.why don't you go and sleep now.It's 12 already you see....
cousin:it's ok chetta, you enjoy "SURYA" here and ill enjoy inside .....good nite.

Soon you'll have the book "sexual pleassures, the SMALL way' author Kannan(my 7 year old cousin)....
He winning the Pulitzer for ceative writing; becomes "KOsho" the GURU and unbrace in a Rolls with beguiling women wrapped around him..........

.................I die virgin.









Tuesday, July 20, 2004

day after tommorow...with "kallu"

meow... said the cat and i ran him over with my "Enzo", the 6 lt 660bhp, 0-100 mph in 6sec-below, gull wings, what an aphrodisiac, made it to the verge of a "explosion", in my pants ....Bow... said tikku and i was rolling on the floor in his piss, how on earth did I get in the Kennel. Oh the after effects of "kallu" .